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casus belli

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Last Post [10 Apr 2003|12:00pm]
Sylvia Plath graduated from Smith fucking college summa cum laude, then went on to fucking Cambridge under a Fulbright scholarship. She was reportedly tall, gorgeous, somewhat well-off, and successful in every venture she undertook. She had an internship with Vogue, bore two children, published 6 books containing more than a few hundred poems before age 30. The one below is from Lady Lazarus, the story of a woman who rises from – or perhaps outwits – death over & over; a survivor, as a Jew from the Holocaust:

Herr god, Herr Lucifer

Out of the ash
I rise with my red hair
And I eat men like air.

She discovered her husband Ted Hughes (who later was awarded Poet Laureate of England and who may possibly never have been published without her encouragement), with a student he was apparently having an affair with, and at age 30, leaving behind her two young children, finally terminated completely her life. Ted Hughes died naturally at age 68 of cancer.

Assia Wevill was the name of the young(er) woman Hughes left the mentally damaged Plath and his two children for.

You know what happened to her?

She fucking killed herself too.

I’m not saying there’s one right or one wrong, I’m saying two women died. Here’s my point: that perhaps instead of declaring war on yourself, imploding as it may be, perhaps you should turn the sword the other way. If you have cause for war, go to war. You may lose, but at least you’ve fought, and you’re still alive to say so.

“The goal in life is to prevail.” – Lauren Bacall
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Find out what it means to me [09 Apr 2003|01:31pm]
C: Why? Why do you think boys do that?
M: It's easier to not confront it than to deal with it I guess.
C: Why do you think it's OK for boys to do what's easiest, and we're left behind to take care of things, to clean the mess up, to do what has to be done?
M: I dunno. It's fucked up.
C: How are we supposed to have any respect for your gender when you always do what's easiest instead of what's right?
M: I dunno.
C: Then I don't. I don't have any respect for your gender. Whaddya think of that.
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[08 Apr 2003|01:09pm]
You know? I might be crazy.

Crazy like a FOX.
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i promised i wouldn't bring this war here but my god she's a genius [07 Apr 2003|11:57am]

Thanks again Sars. You're tops ace.
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[07 Apr 2003|11:36am]
"Jesus, Im all for the rise of equality and feminine pride, but I'm talking about the real shit, not this faux ass ploy designed by corporate bigdicks to keep women in wet t-shirts and conditioned to be all stoked on it."

Thanks Nate. Kisses.

Corporate bigdicks. I'm still laughing.
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lover, you should have come over. [03 Apr 2003|09:41am]
"Sometimes a man gets carried away
He feels he should be having his fun
Much too blind to see the damage he's done..
Sometimes a man needs to wake up to find
that really, he has no one."
-J. Buckley
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My Advice for the Girls [02 Apr 2003|01:42pm]
1. Wear lipgloss. Like, all the time. Have sex & then roll over & apply lipgloss. Put it on in your car, at the bank, before you eat, while you're drinking...seriously. You won't be able to wear it **someday.** Especially if you smoke now.
2. Smoke, enjoy it throroughly, smoke a pack on Saturday night just to see how you feel on Sunday. Quit before you're 30.
3. Don't pay attention to idiots. They're never going to get it.
4. Don't even think about your body size if you're 16-23. It's gonna go up & down like an oil drill and the more yo-yo-ing you do now, the more destabilized you'll be when your body does normalize, which for most women I know happened in their early 20s. Only bros go for skinny chicks to make themselves look better anyway.
5. If you're not part of the solution, girls, you're part of the problem.
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How DOES it feel to treat me like you did? [01 Apr 2003|03:51pm]
You didn't think I was just going to take all that now, did you ladies?
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[30 Mar 2003|05:41am]
A bad day? Are you fucking serious? A bad day? A bad fucking day?

You are UNREAL barney.

A bad day is when you hang up on someone because you had a bad day. Sorry I flew off the handle at the laundromat, I had a bad day.

Lying about doing heroin? Twice? To someone who loves you and actually cares about you, throwing a bottle at her turned back, threatening to punch her (while shouting for your pal [name deleted] the whole time - for backup? Fucking heroic.) is bit beyond the "bad day." You're gonna have to chalk it up to a little more than that pal. Calling me sounding suicidal because I was going to a movie with some guys, derailing my plans to go to a birthday dinner for friends of 10 years or so, and then bailing with [name deleted] to go to Beat It? Hmmm. Bad Day? Or, was it enough drugs to down a horse, Josh. Was that maybe more the thing that did it?

You had a bad day & you were fucked up? What part of your day was 'bad'? Waking up in the afternoon, fucking around with [name deleted] all day, going to buy food & new clothes on mommy's credit card or driving around in your brand fucking new car and making plans for the night on your cellie with all your 'friends'? Off flying around planet Earth with your trusty sidekick to save the world again Superman? Wow. You must be so tired! Judges? Yeah. Fucked up.

Oh, also, I really like it when my drugged out of his fucking mind deranged ex calls me at work and threatens to come to my office, where, have I mentioned? I WORK, for money, to buy food and live because I have to actually work for money unlike some spoiled brats from Simi Valley that I know, so I can roll you & your friends for a fucking year, and threatens to come to my office if I don't tell him where I "hid" his "fucking pills." That makes my day really special. Oh, hey, don't sweat it kid, I'll just roll with it. No big thing to be threatened for pills. It's nice to know where I stand. My life = zero. Drugs = priceless.

Oh, hey, also, thanks for standing me up on my birthday after I spent a few hundred and devoted the whole weekend to you for yours and then having a party instead and then sleeping with the fucking cubic zirconia coco chanel. Also, thanks for waiting in the Doctor's office with me when I was shaking and silently crying waiting for my x-rays, having my doctor ask me if I was suicidal. It really means a lot to me. I said no, if you're wondering. Survival, now that's something.

Lemme tell you something. If any girl is trying to fuck you, I'd take it. Because you used to be adorable, seriously. You were like, the cutest little thing ever. But now you're just - it's like you even look like an asshole. An ugly, high, rich little loser who can't even spell.

I know you're afraid. I know you're too big of an insecure asshole to be who you really are deep down. Or to come to me and say, Jesus, I am so sorry for all the pain I caused you continually. Because I really did love you. I know that right now, you're burying that person, hoping he'll suffocate. Rock stars don't feel pain, right little boy? You wanna grow up to be a great big rock star?

I didn't ask you what you were feeling. I asked you if you cared about any sort of remaining relationship, any connection to each other after more than a year of being each other's best friend and lover and companion.

Sooooooo...that's a no?

Well then. Here is my deepest desire, my wish upon a desert star: I hope that one night, out of nowhere, you find yourself vastly and incomprehensibly alone, confused, desperate. I hope you run right into that brick wall you're building with your astonishing denial, and you say to yourself, dear god, what have I done? How did I get here? And you realize that all you've ever done is trample the great things you had, the true friendships, the deep unspeakable love, the real trust.

And I'm nowhere to be found.
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[28 Mar 2003|08:50pm]
"All the umbrellas in London couldn't stop this rain,
and all the dope in New York couldn't kill this pain,
and all the money in Tokyo couldn't make me stay."
-Stephin Merritt
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[27 Mar 2003|11:38pm]
Hell hath no fury
Like a woman scorned.
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[26 Mar 2003|08:47pm]
Inflected forms: pl. rules of engagement
A directive issued by competent military authority that delineates the limitations and circumstances under which forces will initiate and prosecute combat engagement with other forces encountered.
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[25 Mar 2003|12:00am]
All's fair in love & war.
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